A letter to trust

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TRUST

You are probably getting bored with me by now I guess it’s not okay that I never introduce you to anybody . It’s not that I don’t know how to introduce you, it’s that I honestly don’t want to. Your too danger for the people I know, they know how to break you
I’m so scared to let you meet the people I choose to surround my self. I see how eager they are to meet you, but I always find an excuse on why they can’t. To be honest I’m not sure if I really understand why I’m so protective of you myself. Maybe it’s because I understand people act like . Or maybe I lied so many time With each lie that was told to me you would be injured and you take time to recover It’s as though I’m hollow. There’s nothing left in me to care because when I allow myself to care I become hard and when I’m hard I can be hurt but more importantly you and your sister, Hope, can be hurt.
I was telling you last days I meet hope but I guess I just forgot, Hope stopped me said hello. I haven’t seen her in such a long . She changed , she was a lot more mature. But she stayed for short time , then she left . Because of that I apologise to Time.
Its easy to bring you to school with me and show you to all of my friends. I would tell them the stupidest things , I was really happy then, life just seemed so simple. You weren’t big deal . after some years past by I realized why you were such a big deal, and why I couldn’t give to anyone. I never know why people want you so much. I’d like to believe that it’s because people care about me and want to get to know about me
It was nice when all it took to convince me to let someone meet you . I haven’t done that in a really long time. But I’m ok with that, I think. I just feel that if I don’t deepens on pinky promise, that I won’t be as disappointed . I don’t know how many times you can be lost to others until I’ve lost you myself. Sometime I already started to loose you, and that’s scary
I never understood why are you important . It takes me months, to let people know you. It only takes them seconds to hurt and break you. With out you life is kind of like a painting that was still wet, it can be painted over once it drys.
Lies stole every feeling I have. He found away to steel the happiness But the worst part is that he stole all of the bad feelings too. I don’t even feel anger anymore, I try to but it’s extremely difficult. I’m not really sad anymore either, I’ve tried to let myself cry, but no tears would come out. I don’t know how to put it into words. I just feel like I’m taking up space. The only thing that Lies left is Fear. Fear never bothers me when it comes to death. But Fear takes every chance she gets to make Life look bad. She reminds me how many horrible things have happened and how they aren’t going to stop. It bothers me so much how she can make such a good thing seem so bad and a bad thing seem so good. The only thing that bothers me more is how Lies has the power to make that possible.
I hope that with time I will learn how to properly balance protecting you and giving you away. I seriously hope that this things don’t happen to me again and again otherwise I will get in a danger zone that will will more dangerous for you
Hope you will understand
Sincerely,
A friend of yours

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